Tuesday, September 13, 2005, 2:44 AM
It's been a tough day.
I don't know how to deal with all this.
All this shit.
I wish i never got involved.
But I did.
And now im trying to make sense.
Of the huge carnage of crash.
It's my own fault.
For not being decisive.
For being impulsive.
For doubting myself.
I wish I never told those lies.
Yes, I lied.
I admit now.
My whole mind's a whirlpool.
I can't make sense of what I'm feeling.
What I want.
What do I want?
I don't know.
It's a big ball of confusion.
I can't sort it out.
It's all messed up.
I say what I feel like.
But then i realise I don't mean it.
It's too late to take it back.
Because it's become a lie.
And Im sorry.
I'll stop doing that
From now on.
I promise.
I've been thinking.
A long time.
And I've got the facts out right.
I know now the truth of my heart.
But Im going to give up.
Cos I know it'll never work out.
Either way,
It ain't gonna work.
So what the hell.
No more.
Or at least.
I'll never initiate.
Cos Im resigned to fate.
Or cynicism.
C.
Even though Im messed up.
Im here for you.
No matter what.
I know what you're going through.
But we'll pull ourselves out of it.
Don't let her get to you.
Never let anyone get to you.
Live for yourself.
Protect yourself.
Never let that guard down.
But I did.
And it cost me.
Alot.
let’s doodle
